Sunday, May 06, 2007

Mamma's Bible

And now for something completely different. A story shared with me by my sister.

Mama's Bible

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered.

Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."

The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mama sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote:

"Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."


Andrew McNeill said...

lol. That's a nice twist in the story line!

Matt said...

That reminds me of two good bird jokes.

The first one is about a lady who walked by the pet store. She saw a parrot in the window and it said to her, "Hey lady! Come here." She walked over and the parrot said to her, "You're ugly."

The lady was pretty annoyed but went on her way. The next day she was walking by the pet store and that same parrot said to her, "Hey lady! Come here." She walked over and looked suspiciously at the parrot and it said, "You're ugly."

Immediately she went into the pet store and found the owner. She said, "The last two days I have walked by your store and both times that parrot out front told me I was ugly. The next time he does that I am going to wring his neck so he better not say that to me ever again."

The next day she again passed by the pet shop and saw that parrot in the window. The parrot said, "Hey lady! Come here." She walked over to the parrot and the parrot looked at her and quietly said, "You know."

The second one is about a duck who walks into a hardware store and says to the man behind the counter, "Excuse me but do you have any grapes?" The man says, "No we don't have any grapes this is a hardware store." The next day the duck walks in and says to the man, "excuse me but do you have any grapes?" Confused and a bit frustrated the man says, "I told you yesterday this is a hardware store and we don't carry grapes. If you ask me that again I am going to nail your beak to the counter." The next day the duck walks in and says to the man, "Do you have any nails?" The man replies, "No, we ran out of nails earlier this morning." Then the duck asks, "Do you have any grapes?"

Shawna Renee said...

rofl! Oh my that is a great story! I love it. Thanks for a laugh on a Monday morning. What a wonderful way to start the week.

steph said...

That's a great story - I'm sure it was your blog I read it on about a year ago. I remember because I e-mailed it to my mother. I forgot about the theatre though.