Friday, March 07, 2008

Jesus vs. Satan-- the Computing Showdown

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better

on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was

tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going

to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I

will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.

They faxed.

They e-mailed.

They e-mailed with attachments.

They downloaded.

They did spreadsheets!

They wrote reports.

They created labels and cards.

They created charts and graphs.

They did some genealogy reports

They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted

their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:

"It's gone! It's all GONE! "I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait!" he screamed. "That's not

fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"

God just shrugged and said,



Bob said...

Booo! Hiissss! I want my money back. (Oh wait, that's right. I didn't pay anything. ... Never mind.)

Danny Zacharias said...

Well actually it's because Jesus uses a Mac

Joel said...

Ha... another funny one. I knew that was going to be the punchline though, but I still liked it.

Ontario Emperor said...

Good one.

Hence Jewish Anderstein said...

The Sunday school teacher of a church had reminded her little students, "What's next week's memory verse?"

John 3-16! The chorus of little girls and boys resounded as they milled around the doorway towards meeting their parents.

The next Sunday, just as all her children were seated, fidgeting or chattering - the teacher asked,
"Ben, do you remember what's this week's verse?"

"Yes, ma'am." he sounded assured.

"Can you tell us what it is?"

"John 3-16, ma'am."

"Could you please to say the whole verse to us?"

"Yes ma'am."

Ben waited a while looking at the front evading the eyes of the teacher.

"Go on, Ben."

"For G~D..."
"For G~D..."

"Yes, go on."

"For G~D..."