Tuesday, February 14, 2006

What to Give Mom on Valentine's

Mama's Bible

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered.

Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."

The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mama sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote:

"Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."


James Gregory said...

wow, that was priceless, where did you hear that?

Ben Witherington said...

My sister sent it to me :)

Allan R. Bevere said...


Great story! I intend to use it in an upcoming sermon.


Ben Witherington said...

Hi Allan:

Nice to hear from you. Blessings on you and Carol in Ohio.


Anonymous said...

Fantastic! The poor woman. If only the four were as generous with their time as they were with their $

Dan McGowan said...

This was so funny! I loved it!! I'll have to share it with my choir tomorrow night at our rehearsal - they will all chuckle at this one...

and can't you just hear Oliver Hardy, gazing into the camera, saying, "Chicken! Um Um Um Um!"

Dan McGowan said...

That DaVince code movie is coming out soon - Ron Howard directed - - which actually bummed me out. I have always like him - I probably will continue to like him - I just may not have him over for dinner very often.........