tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post115929535035676836..comments2024-03-10T10:54:59.776-07:00Comments on Ben Witherington: Pastors and Pornography-- A Dirty Little SecretBen Witheringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06017701050859255865noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-34684205057758365832007-10-08T19:47:00.000-07:002007-10-08T19:47:00.000-07:00I am an ex-minister, of sorts. That is, I was a Ch...I am an ex-minister, of sorts. That is, I was a Christian singer-songwriter. I can testify that the sexual urges in a functioning human being do not understand "commandments!"<BR/><BR/>I just bought some condoms for my son. It turns out that 75 percent of the people of the USA are nominally Christians. But we have the highest rate of sexually transmitted disease! I'm trying to do my small part, because I know my son would be sooooo embarrassed to buy his own condoms in WalMart!<BR/><BR/>"Ju, never prey on girls, but if you're going to have sex, then it is OK, natural, FUN, and not a big deal... kind of like masturbating.. which you have already, no doubt, discovered, is as inevitable, and as frequent, and as pleasant as a the rain..."<BR/><BR/>I read the whole report by the Attrney General's commission on porn. James Dobson served on the committee. What did they find? Porn, in and of itself, presents no observable damage. Only when coupled with violence (ie: the "Rape Myth") is there evidence that it is damaging. <BR/><BR/>So enjoy!<BR/><BR/>Bill Ross<BR/>http://bibleshockers.blogspot.com<BR/>http://woundedego.com<BR/>http://bibleshockers.comWoundedEgohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10587474211232415755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1162434733313363802006-11-01T18:32:00.000-08:002006-11-01T18:32:00.000-08:00Let me hyperlink that last URL:http://berean-cogit...Let me hyperlink that last URL:<BR/><BR/><A HREF="http://berean-cogitations.blogspot.com/2006/10/my-thoughts-on-1-christian-porn-site.html" REL="nofollow">http://berean-cogitations.blogspot.com/2006/10/my-thoughts-on-1-christian-porn-site.html</A>.A servanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13204276000917237041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1162434688251782082006-11-01T18:31:00.000-08:002006-11-01T18:31:00.000-08:00I think that xxxchurch.com is well-intentioned and...I think that xxxchurch.com is well-intentioned and that they have a noble goal. However, I question some of their tactics.<BR/><BR/>Is it really right of them to call themselves a "Christian porn site"? This strikes me as deceptive advertising. If anything, they are ANTI-porn!<BR/><BR/>Also, I think it's unwise to use the slogan "Jesus loves porn stars." Let's face it; while this is technically true, most people would construe that as acceptance of the porn industry.<BR/><BR/>More thought on these matters can be found here: http://berean-cogitations.blogspot.com/2006/10/my-thoughts-on-1-christian-porn-site.htmlA servanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13204276000917237041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1161887956154522472006-10-26T11:39:00.000-07:002006-10-26T11:39:00.000-07:00Thanks for talking about this problem. I hope in ...Thanks for talking about this problem. I hope in the future churches will begin to offer real help for those of us who are trying to deal with these issues and have healthy marriages and families.julhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15688008902332240637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159844364032510232006-10-02T19:59:00.000-07:002006-10-02T19:59:00.000-07:00Pope Paul VI predicted in the 1960's that the wide...Pope Paul VI predicted in the 1960's that the widespread use of artifical contraception would lead to the devaluing of women and more broken marriages as well as abortion. Without flaming me here folks, perhaps there is some logic to this when sex becomes an activity like a sport, rather than an imaging of God's nature, creative. The Catholic Church maintains that when we separate the unitive act from the procreative act, we are heading for trouble. Perhaps , Pope Paul was onto something.Russ Rentler, M.D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00659833542780220795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159568294716313882006-09-29T15:18:00.000-07:002006-09-29T15:18:00.000-07:00Thanks for talking about this. Found you through ...Thanks for talking about this. Found you through Bobbie. I am one of those statistics (1 in three women have been abused). I was molested as a toddler, abused as an adolescent and raped as both a teen and adult. Logically it seems that those things would cause someone to hate sex or anything sexual but as you know - the opposite is often true.<BR/><BR/>I know several pastors who have confessed issues in this area and they are now accountable and doing well. <BR/><BR/>I wish there was an easy answer but bringing it out in the open is a great step in the right direction.<BR/><BR/>Thank youBar L.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11100008292699584336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159554465903115342006-09-29T11:27:00.000-07:002006-09-29T11:27:00.000-07:00Thirdly, pornography, even today is overwhelmingly...<I>Thirdly, pornography, even today is overwhelmingly a male problem, and overwhelmingly it is males who are pastors, unfortunately.</I><BR/><BR/>The statistics on ministers and pornography are very interesting. I have wondered for the last 30 years whether a phenemenon like this is behind the church's obsession with sex when there are so many other personal and collective sins that are much more urgent.PamBGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159534707121171422006-09-29T05:58:00.000-07:002006-09-29T05:58:00.000-07:00One of the most helpful books I am aware of is "Ev...One of the most helpful books I am aware of is "Every Man's Battle" by Arterburn and Stoeker. It is very thorough and has lots of specific things men can do to avoid temptation and lust.Neilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01351286913547309232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159471989417452072006-09-28T12:33:00.000-07:002006-09-28T12:33:00.000-07:00I think what makes pornography so pernicious is th...I think what makes pornography so pernicious is that it brings the red light district into the workplace and into the home. You hit a link or type in a url and just like that, you've entered into a addicting world of deception and lust.<BR/><BR/>I think that this is a generational sin. Most people I know get into pornography because when they were kids, they found a stash of their dad's Penthouse magazines in a bedroom closet hidden under some clothes.<BR/><BR/>Or they got into it because they were at a friend's house, and they discovered it there.<BR/><BR/>Galatians 5:16-24 speaks to me about how to combat this. Live by the Spirit and you will not fulfill the desires of the sinful nature. It goes back to what you said in your original post: Get involved in ministry and don't leave yourself time and opportunity to indulge. And get rid of the laptop or PC or TV if necessary.<BR/><BR/>And accountability. Like other addictions, it is a battle you cannot win on your own. You mentioned that it isn't a good diea to get a family member to be a partner, but I think if you have a proactive and understanding spouse, they could be a good accountability partner.Marc Axelrodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04364703655694001236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159454302434056362006-09-28T07:38:00.000-07:002006-09-28T07:38:00.000-07:00hi ben,i was able to complete that blog post today...hi ben,<BR/><BR/>i was able to complete that blog post today:<BR/><BR/><A HREF="http://emergingsideways.blogspot.com/2006/09/dirty-little-secrets-porn-church.html" REL="nofollow">emerging sideways...: dirty little secrets - porn & the church</A><BR/><BR/>i'd be interested to see what you think about it. thanks a lot for your attention to this subject matter!bobbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09236324338161051924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159388163492446882006-09-27T13:16:00.000-07:002006-09-27T13:16:00.000-07:00Yes indeed, the church sends out mixed signals at ...Yes indeed, the church sends out mixed signals at best about sex. The essence of the message I was given when in MYF as a teen went like this--- "Sex is dirty. Save it for the one you really love and marry." Talk about a mixed message. <BR/><BR/>In my view this is a body life problem which contains within it a family problem. The truth is, that many of a person's emotional needs should be met by a variety of friendships. The spouse should not have to bear the burden of fullfilling every last need of their mate. That's simply unBiblical. <BR/><BR/>Obviously one's spouse should fulfill those needs which are exclusive to the husband and wife relationship. But most emotional needs for brotherly and sisterly love do not involve sexual needs necessarily. I am working on 1 Pet. 1-2 where we are told to "love each other deeply from the heart" and the subject there is 'philadelphia' not marital love. Of course we need to be careful since there is a fine line between one's spirtuality and one's sexuality, and sometimes those lines can be blurred especially when one is a passionate person in both spheres. <BR/><BR/>Part of the problem in low church Protestantism is we turn the nuclear family into an idol, then suggest that if your mate is not meeting all your needs there is something wrong with your mate or relationship with your mate. <BR/><BR/>We need a 'Focus on the Family of Faith' that is at least as persistent and insistent as a 'Focus on the Family'. <BR/><BR/>In the body of Christ, we all can support each other, mourn with those who mourn, rejoice with those who rejoice, and our immediate family hopefully will be fitted into that larger church family. The church does not exist to meet the physical family's needs. To the contrary it is the job of every Christian family to serve the church, the body of Christ, the family of faith. <BR/><BR/>If we had our heads screwed on right about Christian relationships in general, and how the Body of Christ is the place where our needs are met, needs of both single persons and married persons, we would all be healthier. <BR/><BR/>Blessings,<BR/><BR/>BenBen Witheringtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06017701050859255865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159385969587511012006-09-27T12:39:00.000-07:002006-09-27T12:39:00.000-07:00I fear that what I am about to comment might be ta...I fear that what I am about to comment might be taken the wrong way, so please apply a little grace.<BR/>I can't remember ever hearing a pastor or anyone in church leadership say that they enjoy sex with their wife. Paul is very clear that husbands and wives should not deny each other. Indeed, I think it's quite clear in Scripture that God intends the giving of one to the other sexually. But churches neither teach nor celebrate that. Why?<BR/>In fact, (and from here on is where I take quite a risk and need you to cut me some grace in your reading), we seem to put such a downer on sex as if there are far more important and 'spiritual' things to be getting on with. Pardon me if I'm wrong, but sharing an orgasm with my wife is a God-created, God-purposed thing.<BR/>We absolutely must not make excuses for porn, but I tend to feel that perhaps we don't help people to have a healthy sexual appetite, because the only time we talk about sex is when we're putting a downer on sexual appetite.<BR/><BR/>On another note, picking up on Bobbie's point - in my personal experience of seminary and from what I know of others (in the UK) from friends, there is very little emphasis placed on preparing future pastors so that they are ready to sustain a healthy work-life balance and be able to turn down demands placed on their time. One of the key NT qualifications for those in leadership is who and how they are as husbands and fathers. Our seminaries place the bulk of the 'qualifications' in the realm of completing a (mostly) academic course. A husband who's in love with his wife because he has time to be with her and know her is going to be in a better place with God (he'll have plenty to give thanks for!), is going to be a better pastor (he'll be able to speak authoritatively about loving one's spouse) and is going to be in a rush to get home or get off the internet because he'll have the promise of a horny wife!TBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17080245096177398226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159385019437394632006-09-27T12:23:00.000-07:002006-09-27T12:23:00.000-07:00I've always been a bit perplexed at how sexual sin...I've always been a bit perplexed at how sexual sins are typically a death sentence for a pastor while other ministers have done some incredibly dishonest things with finances, or have been extremely emotionally and/or psychologically manipulative, and these guys often times are given a slap on the wrist or restored after an interim period of counseling. I think we need strong ministerial standards and ethics in all areas and need to be consistent (though with an attitude of grace and love).<BR/><BR/>Anyway, I too find the 51% figure a bit suspect, but even if the number was 1%, it is certainly too many. I think, like others have alluded to, the bigger problem is the "Church's" approach to sexuality in general. It's almost completely negative. Sure, there's some lines thrown out there about how sex is God's gift and how it's a beautiful thing, but beyond that, there isn't a ton positive said about sexuality or those who are struggling in whatever area of sexual sin, at least that how I and many others felt. <BR/><BR/>For all of the emphasis on "pratical application," in churches, it seems more often than not the focus on sexual sin is just this: "Don't do it, it's bad." Most people know that adultery is bad. Most people who look at porn are not particularly proud of that. And so on. But people feel utterly trapped and they are not given the tools to get out of this stuff. All they hear is how bad their sin is and how much God hates it. That's true, but many people want to know how they can overcome these things. Certainly God can zap people on the spot and fix everything, but for most who struggle with this kind of stuff it's not that easy and I know that from my own experience. I got saved when I was in my later teenage years. I did not have the same morals and beliefs before my conversion. My heart was changed but all my actions didn't change overnight. It for me at least took some time (and much guilt and self-loathing) and only after breaking through that culture of fear and finding help from others that weren't so freaked out by the subject of sexuality. Going it alone just doesn't work. This is now how I try to approach things in my own ministry. It's not a matter of watering down standards or the Biblical teachings, but providing an atmosphere and tools that are conducive to victory. <BR/><BR/>That's why I appreciate more unconventional ministries like xxxchurch that is actually trying to give people some practical tools (though they have a ton of critics from more traditionalist sectors who are happy with sticking to "Don't do it, it's wrong). There have been some breakthroughs in some popular Chrisitan literature and with some ministries, but I think there's still a long way to go.<BR/><BR/>One more thing, this idea that lust is a male problem only is ridiculous. There are plenty of women having affairs, and as pointed out, more and more are delving into pornography. And even when it doesn't go that far, women have their more accepted forms of lust that don't get much mention. Take for example that millions of teenage, young adult (and some older adult) women who hang up posters of sweaty bare chested "hot guys" all over their walls or dorm rooms. And most romance novels directed towards women I'd label "mental porn." So yes, the problem with men is arguably more severe, and men by their makeup are more prone to more extreme manifestations of this sin, but they hardly have a monopoly on it. This is a general human problem.<BR/><BR/>There are still many who need to be convinced it's a problem. Many others, however, know it is but need help finding a way out. That's where the Christian community needs to do a better job.Bill Barnwellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06519140832310178588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159376136415668752006-09-27T09:55:00.000-07:002006-09-27T09:55:00.000-07:00Ben,It isn't news that christians struggle with si...Ben,<BR/><BR/>It isn't news that christians struggle with sin. What about totally secular people? <BR/><BR/>I just finished a photo biography of Paul Desmond (d. 1977) who played alto saxophone. The book is called Take Five and was published in the last year or two. Obviously it focuses on Desmond's musical life but the book also tells us what kind a life he lead when he wasn't playing music. I think Desmond could be called the Jazz Musician's equivalent of Hugh Hefner. The list of vices includes drugs (sans heroin), alcohol, tobacco (killed him), pornography, sex, gambling, seducing the wives of close friends, writing bad checks ... Have I over looked any? <BR/><BR/>Some of the stuff Desmond did sent Brubeck around the bend. Like hawking the expensive tires on Brubeck's car, not showing up for gigs because he was up all night drinking. <BR/><BR/>It would not be fair to say that Desmond struggled with sin. He didn't struggle at all. He gave himself to sin without any restraint. He tried to kill himself with booze but the tobacco is what got him. <BR/><BR/>A few years ago I read To a Violent Grave: An Oral Biography of Jackson Pollock. When I finshed reading about Pollock, I wondered why anyone, particularly the women in his life, would put up with Jackson Pollock. He was clearly a sociopath. He died in a drunken driving auto accident which killed one and maimed the other passenger, two young women. <BR/><BR/>What is it about our culture that makes heros out of Pollock and Desmond? Why are we willing to overlook Desmond's life because he played the alto saxophone like no one else?<BR/><BR/>I know, this is really off topic. Has little to do with the pornography problem among christians.C. Stirling Bartholomewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03571440237755902925noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159372031483721882006-09-27T08:47:00.000-07:002006-09-27T08:47:00.000-07:00Thanks Ben. If you had trackback activated I'd hav...Thanks Ben. If you had trackback activated I'd have linked you back to my post picking up your piece.<BR/><BR/>XXXchurch stuff is SO cool - really helped me a few years ago. So easy to install, BUT requires a major realignment of the will to commit.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159371962416169982006-09-27T08:46:00.000-07:002006-09-27T08:46:00.000-07:00I think one of the problems for paid (professional...I think one of the problems for paid (professional?) ministers is the enormous workload that churches place upon them. Visitation, funerals, teaching classes Sunday and Wednesday, preaching two (sometimes 3) times a week, counseling....I honestly don't understand how some ministers manage. The fact is that the growth that a minister receives from constantly preparing for all of this is in itself a factor that separates him from the congregation. When I look at the New Testament, I see churches where the work within the congregation was spread much more evenly. Maybe that's just me looking at the NT church through the lenses of my heritage. Reading through the comments, I notice that some people have brought up the fact that most churches seem to know little to nothing about how to practice koinonia--we talk about and how we need it, but our people are just as disparate and individual as anyone else.<BR/><BR/>When I think about pornography, I think about a line from Men in Black. Tommy Lee Jones' character is about to retire, and he tells Will Smith's character: "I've just been down the gullet of an interstellar cockroach. That's one of a hundred memories I don't want." I've been an addict since I was 12. I remember my dad telling my brother and me when I was about 5 that pornography is like a constrictor--it'll wrap itself around your mind and squeeze everything else out. One of the problems that I face on a day-to-day basis is the fact that all these images that I've seen take up so much of my mind that it's difficult for me to do anything without some unbidden erotic thought or image coming to the fore of my thoughts. Unerasable. Unforgettable. Inexcusable.<BR/><BR/>One of the things that saddens me is that my father and his brothers struggled with this, and their inability to face the problem and get help that they desperately needed has meant that when they became fathers, the same aspects of their personalities that made them so susceptible to pornographic/sexual temptation have rubbed off on their sons. Every one of my cousins struggles with this. This is truly an addictive thing, and it makes the whole family co-addicts.David Johnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04836607971197780075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159368546650190022006-09-27T07:49:00.000-07:002006-09-27T07:49:00.000-07:00another really great resource to lead people to is...another really great resource to lead people to is <B><A>www.settingcaptivesfree.com</A></B>. <BR/><BR/>I have been through it before and have been porn free for going on three years now. <BR/><BR/>I agree that the church should not be quite so quick to defrock all ministers for this problem but instead work to help them resolve the issues that lead to it and provide a menas to help and accountability. <BR/><BR/>I also think we need to allow ministers to have time to nurture their relationship with loved ones and close friends which, imo, really goes a long way to resolving the deeper issues that lead to porn addiction.Brianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11912653730884160224noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159365157930081902006-09-27T06:52:00.000-07:002006-09-27T06:52:00.000-07:00I find it difficult to know how to take this subje...I find it difficult to know how to take this subject. I am not convinced that reliable statistics on how common the problem is exist, but being human I am pretty sure that every male and most females have to wrestle with the problem of inappropriate sexual activities or fantasies. The very mention of porn attracts a prurient interest. Pornographic images are used by advertising firms to sell their wares, and they continue to do so because it works; this is the human condition. It would be foolhardy to deny that pastors have the same reactions as everybody else.<BR/><BR/>On the other hand, pastors must condemn pornography from the pulpit, which opens them up to the charge of hypocrisy. <BR/><BR/>The second problem is that, because we are hard-wired to be interested in sex, we tend to magnify sexual sins and belittle other sins. I find that Christians are often mean-spirited, proud, gossipy, ungenerous, unkind, tax-dodgers who enjoy breaking the speed limit in their automobiles; yet these sins pass uncommented on.<BR/><BR/>The truth is that we are all sinners and fall short of the standards set for us by Jesus, or even for ourselves. Hurrying on to perfection is what we ought to be, but my impression is that those who are spiritually mature are more concious of their sin not less.<BR/><BR/>Not for nothing did Jesus condemn the man who commits 'adultery of the heart'. I suspect that the man who believes himself free of that deceives himself. <BR/><BR/>Thank God for grace; else we should all perish.<BR/><BR/>It is, of course, sensible to impose disciplines on ourselves in our use of the internet and television. Avoidance of temptation is wise advice. But anyone who believes that he is invulnerable to temptation had better beware. In avoiding one trap we may more easily fall into another. The Devil is as happy harvesting a hard-hearted, hypocrite as he is a pornographer.Terry Hamblinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06346629921055055879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159360555510858712006-09-27T05:35:00.000-07:002006-09-27T05:35:00.000-07:00Ben, thanks for doing a great job of tackling a to...Ben, thanks for doing a great job of tackling a tough subject. I applaud churches who have ministries dealing with this problem. <BR/><BR/>If our vocabularies consisted solely of words we heard in worship service or Sunday School, would many of us even know what "pornography," "abortion" and other controversial words mean? It's as if we pretend they don't exist.<BR/><BR/>I read somewhere that before the days of extensive travel and TV most people would see a dozen or so beautiful women in their lives, and of course they were mostly clothed. Now the average person is assaulted with hundreds or even thousands of images and real people every day via TV, billboards, church(!), and more.Neilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01351286913547309232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159356754846279922006-09-27T04:32:00.000-07:002006-09-27T04:32:00.000-07:00Thanks Shea and Jerry: I entirely agree with what ...Thanks Shea and Jerry: I entirely agree with what you say. Nouwen, Merton, Buechner, Peterson they all help immensely to get one's head on straight about dealing with loneliness and one's stuff.<BR/><BR/>Blessings,<BR/><BR/>BenBen Witheringtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06017701050859255865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159330028659204592006-09-26T21:07:00.000-07:002006-09-26T21:07:00.000-07:00Hi Dr. Ben,It is a travesty that we have had to de...Hi Dr. Ben,<BR/><BR/>It is a travesty that we have had to deal with this 'dirty little secret' alone for so long, and even more sad that there are churches that are unwilling to recognize the problem in their own backyard. <BR/><BR/>One of the several comments you made regarding healthy relationships led me to recall Henri Nouwen and his book 'Reaching Out.' It is a solid book about movement from lonliness to solitude among other sprirtual movements. Nouwen (and not to forget Thomas Merton) had a lot to say about developing healthy relationships in regards to combating lonliness and, further, neediness in the soul. I think some of our addictions do come out of an unhealthy connection with those we mingle with and more importantly, those we call our closest friends or our lovers. I think that once we learn to deal with our lonliness, which is no easy or quick task, we (as men) will begin to understand how to live in harmony with God's most beautiful of creations, woman. <BR/><BR/>I hate to say that its not enough to fight the fight at the surface (although a good start, i.e. nixing internet, TV and other various media outlets.) We need to learn how to be content alone and confident in ourselves and our relationships with others, and ultimately, God.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for a great post. It is not often to see a scholar use an academic outlet to make the body aware of the church's 'dirty little secret.'<BR/><BR/>signed<BR/>a currently struggling servant.JDevhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17735080495549531144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159325463795734242006-09-26T19:51:00.000-07:002006-09-26T19:51:00.000-07:00Thanks Trierr:I quite agree with you entirely abou...Thanks Trierr:<BR/><BR/>I quite agree with you entirely about the issue of real community and koinonia....<BR/><BR/>BenBen Witheringtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06017701050859255865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159322694742863912006-09-26T19:04:00.000-07:002006-09-26T19:04:00.000-07:00Professor Witherington, Thanks for posting on porn...Professor Witherington, <BR/><BR/>Thanks for posting on porn. In my last men's group, I guy from my Sunday school class showed up one morning. He talked about hearing me talk about the enormity of the problem during class. Sadly, he never dealt with his addiction to porn until his wife left him, her faith and her dreams shattered.<BR/><BR/>I personally agree the problem is bigger and more pernicious than most want to admit. It is one of the most powerful addictions I know of. I have friends who have kicked alcoholism and cocaine addiction, but still battle with porn. Unfortunately, we as the Church often don't really know how do help people in the fight.<BR/><BR/>The one thing I would ask you to consider is that it takes more than accountability, it take community/fellowship. It takes a healthy embodiment of intimacy. (Isn't that what koinonia is supposed to be?) We have to learn how to heal our view of intimacy. And sadly, pastors are unlikely to have healthy, intimate friendships.Trierrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06747045962664313280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159320972100405982006-09-26T18:36:00.000-07:002006-09-26T18:36:00.000-07:00As a third generation Nazarene, I can testify to t...As a third generation Nazarene, I can testify to the "code of silence" that comes from (having to give) a profession of "entire sanctification. <BR/><BR/>I remember growing up with the distinct awareness that I wasn't supposed to admit I was wrong/bad/sinful. That was, ironically for a denomination focused on proclaiming scriptural holiness so that people could live it, taboo. <BR/><BR/>I say no more than to say that we have to address this issue--and more broadly, the issue of sexuality in general. I find it odd that we in the church don't address (or very rarely address) a subject that is in our faces 24/7 in Western culture. The same could be said for money. Is it our tendency towards an gnostic Christianity that keeps us there? Jesus is interested in my soul going to heaven--not necessarily my body that wants sex. <BR/><BR/>What does a Christian spirituality of sexuality look like? One that proclaims the goodness of creation and the goodness of sex? <BR/><BR/>Thanks for the wake-up call Ben!Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05224466674026431314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11840313.post-1159313539730482232006-09-26T16:32:00.000-07:002006-09-26T16:32:00.000-07:00Dee Dee-- fair enough, but even if the percentages...Dee Dee-- fair enough, but even if the percentages are way lower, it is way too many. God expect better of us.Ben Witheringtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06017701050859255865noreply@blogger.com