Sunday, March 02, 2008

CHRISTIAN CLICHES

Christian One Liners

Don't let your worries get the
best of you; remember, Moses started
out as a basket case.

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Some people are kind, polite, and

sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.

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Many folks want to serve God,

but only as advisors.

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It is easier to preach ten sermons

than it is to live one.

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The good Lord didn't create anything
without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

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When you get to your wit's end,

you'll find God lives there.

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People are funny; they want the front

of the bus, the middle of the road, and

the back of the church.

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Opportunity may knock once, but temptation
bangs on your front door forever.

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Quit griping about your church;

if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.

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If the church wants a better preacher,

it only needs to pray for the one it has.

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God Himself does not propose to judge

a man until he is dead. So why should you?

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Some minds are like concrete
thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

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Peace starts with a smile.

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I don't know why some people
change churches; what difference does
it make which one you stay home from?

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A lot of church members who are singing

"Standing on the Promises"

are just sitting on the premises.

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We were called to be witnesses,

not lawyers or judges.

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Be ye fishers of men. You catch

them - He'll clean them.

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Coincidence is when God

chooses to remain anonymous.

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Don't put a question mark

where God put a period.

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Don't wait for 6 strong men

to take you to church.

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Forbidden fruits create many jams.

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God doesn't call the qualified,

He qualifies the called.

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God grades on the cross, not the curve.

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God loves everyone, but probably prefers
"fruit of the spirit" over a "religious nut!"

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God promises a safe landing,

not a calm passage.

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He who angers you, controls you!

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If God is your Copilot - swap seats!

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Prayer:

Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!

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The task ahead of us is never as
great as the Power behind us.

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The Will of God never takes you to
where the Grace of God will not protect you.

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We don't change the message,

the message changes us.

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You can tell how big a person is

by what it takes to discourage him.

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The best mathematical equation

I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given

4 comments:

Brett Royal said...

A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises"
are just sitting on the premises - on their Blessed Assurance.

Theophilus Punk (PLStepp) said...

Confession to make: I was in Joseph Beth yesterday, and saw a couple of your books (the new one on the Lord's Supper.) And I also saw several books by B. Ehrman.

So I moved your books, and a few N.T. Wright books, so that they were blocking the covers of the Ehrman books.

I'm not sure what that says about me, but I thought I should confess it to someone.

Cheers!

Ben Witherington said...

Hey Brother Stepp: Well, this one made me smile. You know what Luther said--- "Sin boldly, repent at leisure." But actually what you did doesn't require confession, just a thank you.

Ben

Brett Royal said...

that is funny stuff. I guess it gets the heart of the whole permission vs. forgiveness debate.